I want to begin this chapter by identifying that these are rough drafts. We are underway with the editing process outside of this blog. Be in prayer and on the look out for a more formal version. Thanks again for the responses. I believe we need to at least investigate the possibility of what we are talking about.
The Affair Exposed:
Have you ever had an affair? Yes, you read that right. Have you ever had an affair? Many of you reading this are probably offended by that question. And would respond with an emphatic, "NO!" "And just so you know, I would never, ever have an affair!"
What if you are and you don't even realize it?
Some reading this are saying, "Yes." To those reading that answered this way, I want you to pick your head up. Everyone makes mistakes, even in marriage. This whole endeavor is designed partly with you in mind. To help you see how the enemy victimizes in ways that may overwhelm us, but at the same breathe we have to take responsibility for our actions.
For those who have not had an affair and are preparing to breeze through this chapter, it is probably more for you than those who have had an affair.
Let me explain. Those who have been through the destructive affects of an extra-marrital affair understand the reality that no one is really "safe." Many of them said they would never, ever have an affair either. Does it make them better or worse? No, but I do believe they have a better grasp on the reality of who they are and some of the topics being discussed.
How would you feel if I asked you if you were in a poygamist marriage? Again, the response may be, "Are you kidding me?" "Of course not, I believe marriage is between ONE man and ONE woman!"
With the popularity of the TV shows like "Sister Wives," many of us have been exposed to the polyamy lifestyle. For the most part many are offended. I heard a guy say one time, "I get so mad I have to turn the TV off!"
But here is what I am really asking. What if you were having an affair and you didn't know it? What if you were in a polygamist relationship and you were not aware of it?
Yes, it can happen. I believe it happens all the time. And it is happening to some of you right now. Many marriages are struggling because they sense something is going on but they can not identify it. Many marriages are failing because there are too many forces battling for control in our relationships. Yes, marriage is to be between one man and one woman, but many marriages are not that simple. There are unseen partners that fight for our affection and for status in our lives. And it is always the visible partner that loses.
Many of these unseen relationships, for the sake of clarity are with unclean spirit, have a healthier relationship with us than our seen relationships, namely our husband / wife. This happens because we have had a longer relationship with them than we have had with our spouses. These relationships could go all the way back to our childhood. Many maybe continuing these relationships from marriage to marriage. In Luke 8:27-29, we see that these unclean spiritual relationships last for long periods of time. "When He got out on land, a demon-possessed man from the town met Him. FOR A LONG TIME he had worn no clothes and did not stay in a house but in the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he cried out, fell down before Him, and said in a loud voice, "What do You have to do with me, Jesus, You Son of the Most High God? I beg You, don't torment me!" For He had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. MANY TIMES it had siezed him, and though he was guarded, bound by chains and shackles, he would snap the restraints and be driven by the demon into deserted places."
Two questions arise. Who was the controlling factor in this man's life and Why?
I believe it is clear to see that this unclean spirit had the full attention of this man. But according to this scripture it would be safe to say this relationship had been going on for "a long time." The longer it continued the worse it got. The man's relationship with this unclean spirit eventually destroyed all of his physical relationships. We know this because when Jesus finds him, he is living alone in the tombs. All the people had given up on him. All of this man's attention was focused on the relationship he had with this spirit. This was not a relationship that happened over night. It was one the envolved a long span of time with a lot of broken relationships along the way.
Have you ever broken up with someone and think to yourself; "What was I thinking?" When Nicole and I were dating we were at two ends of the state in which we live. Obviously it strained the relationship and there were times that it just didn't seem like it was going to work. I remember feeling that way a couple of times. And in those times I would tell her it was over. I used excuses like, "You deserve better", "Your there and I am here." I would hang up and instantly become sick to my stomach. (I think God was punching me for being so stupid) Either way, I remembered say to myself, "What are you thinking?" I would pick the phone back up and mend my bridge. That's how I know that Nicole was the person God had for me, He would not allow me to mess it up.
"What was I thinking?" The reality was, I was not thinking. I was not aware at the time that I was cheating on Nicole. I was in a relationship with a spirit that wanted full control of my life. It wanted my affections, my attention, and my sanity. It would find me in weak moments and capitalize on them. This spirit did not like the thought of Nicole interfering with our relationship. I would like to tell you that once Nicole and I got married it got better, but it didn't. The rough part of our relationship was the first 3 years of our marriage. Why? As I see it now I was having to go through the divorce process. Three years of divorce proceedings and God was the judge. Three years of custody battle over control of my life. At times it was nasty and bitter. Many of you understand. At one point Nicole was actually leaving me. Again, God had to intervene.
The reality was, the unclean spirit I was in a relationship with was destroying every other relationship in my life. I need a divorce and it was not eaay. The same was happening in Luke 8.
"But he was possesed." Sure he was, but what if many of our marriages are possessed too? I know that is not a popular thought. But just think for a moment. How many people do you know who have had multiple marriages? How many of you are those people? I reconize that somethings happen and some people are not compatible. But what if we are missing a factor. What if we are in unclean relationships with forces that are beyond our natural awareness? What if we are entering into new relationships without divorcing the unclean spirits first?
I see people that have been through divorces and broken relationships grasping for reasons to explain why this happened AGAIN. People who are frustrated, who want to give up, yet really desire to have a relationship that is lasting and fulfilling. I see people who are going from one relationship to another, from one marriage to the next, hoping something is going to be different this time.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting different results. New boyfriend, new girlfriend, new husband, new wife, but nothing changes. The results is the same everytime. Could it be because we transfering these unclean spiritual relationships into each new physical relationship? Is it that some people are really not suppose to be married? Maybe, but it may be the one divorce they need never happens. And so the cycle of destruction continues.
Nothing changes because all of our affections are given to another. We love our wives but we continue in an affair with this unclean spirit. We try to balance our relationship with our husband while sharing him with another.
Does that seem impossible? My question is, What if it is not? What if we are actively having an affair with unclean spirits. What if we sense that there is someone else but ignore it and do our best to balance all the relationships?
That is insanity. Man has been trying to operate this way since we have been in relationships. Adam and Eve tried to balance their relationship with the serpent and it drove them out of the garden. They tried to please the enemy and God, ultimately breaking their relationship with God and strain theirs.
We are upset when we find out those we are friends with or those we are related to are having an affair, but many of us are having affairs and are completely unaware.
We say, "I would never be in an open relationship or share my spouse with anyone." But many of are. Many of us are expecting our husbands and wives to share our affections and attention with these unclean relationships.
What if when we say, "I want to divorce you" they are really saying, "I can not handle sharing you with anyone else." A marriage between ONE man and ONE woman means that one man and one woman forsake ALL other relationships for each other.
It maybe time to hire a private investigator...
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