The Social Network Lie

We live in a social network society. We are plugged into Facebook, Twitter, and Goggle. We check out the Facebook news feeds every 20 minutes to see if anyone has like our newest revelation. Or just to see if anyone really cares whether or not I just woke up. We are super excited when we get a new "friend" or a new like even though we have no idea who that person is. We are just excited if we can get a thousand people to friend us. Man, we feel like we have arrived! Life is good! But is it? We have tricked ourselves into believing that one thousand people "like" us, when in reality most of them are doing the same thing you are doing. They are trying to have as many so called relationships as possible. The social networks push this idea. They use the motivation to connect with people you have not seen since high school. Even though you never talked to them or cared what was going on in their life during high school. Now, you can reconnect with them! The social networks advertise how you can now "connect" with family members around the world. That is true if your idea or concept of connecting is pressing the like button on the latest photo they posted. But have you really connected with them? Is that genuine connection? The reason social networking has been so successful is because it feeds on our desire to have relationships. Everyone of us desires to be connected. I know that because the Bible tells us that even God realizes it is not good for man to be alone. There is something created within us that compels us to commune or connect with other people. We may not be able to explain it but it is there. Creators of these social networks understand this truth. This does not make them bad people, but people that simple identify this created desire. So realizing this, they provide a way to meet that need. What they do not tell you is that these friends and thumb ups are not authentic relationships. These people are not coming to your house and having dinner with you. They are not meeting you for coffee every morning and sitting with you in the evening asking you how your day went. What the social networks do not tell you is that most of those in your friend list will never call you or be there for you in a time of need. Truthfully, social networks like Facebook are a gossiper's paradise. You can identify this the next time someone says, "I saw on Facebook that so and so were..." Think about the last time you posted a traumatic event on Facebook. How many actual phone calls did you get? How many people actually showed up at your home to encourage you in your time of need? Ok, how many actually "liked" the post detailing your trauma?! Yes, that happens. I always think that is strange. The point is this, we are so desperate for relationships that we will settle for anything. Please understand that I am NOT against social networking. I do my share, but I do not try to use it as a substitute for the real thing. I have a defined purpose for using these networks and at the end of the day, they have been a great tool to send encouragements and challenges to those in my circle. That's it. But there are many who see these networks a real relationship and use them to feed that need. You know them, they get all bent out of shape when someone unfriends them or blocks them from their page. They even get upset because someone did not like or comment on their post. As a pastor I hear that all the time. I always respond with the sobering truth, "who cares." "You do realize that Facebook is not a real relationship?" We are so needy for authentic relationships that we take whatever we can find. I want to encourage you. You are created to have authentic relationship. God made you to be really connected to other people. But because we tend to mess stuff up, social networks exist as an abnormality. Social networking on Facebook or Twitter because we have moved away from what it means to connect with one another. Authentic relationships are messy and hurt sometimes, so in order to avoid that we simple "friend" someone on Facebook and avoid really being in a relationship. This is simple a lie. I have people who like my page who will pass by me in the store and never say a word. So do you. I do not consider them a friend or to have a working relationship with that person. They are free to like my page, but I am not led to believe they will show up when I am sick or a need arises in my life. That said, we are designed to be social creatures. God understood from the moment He created us that we should have personal interaction. God knew that He instituted several things to provide for this need. I will not go into all of them but I will identify a few. One of these institutions is marriage. (marriage between a man and a woman) Marriage is designed to supply a level of relationship that provides personal connections. Marriage awards the man and women to relate with each other in a way that is not awarded outside the marriage. God said that the two would become one. Marriage gives us a connection with another human being that is not possible outside of that institution. Marriage provide intimacy (sex) that is a not shared with anyone else. Marriage was the first form of biblical social networking. Another of these institutions would be Church. Church in not just a two thousand year old concept. Church has been happening ever since there was more than one person. Church is the congregating of people. We tend to only think of church in the concept of what we do every Sunday, but authentic church has been ever since people have collectively united. The nation of Israel would be an example of church. What we see in the New Testament in the book of Acts is the reinstitution of that core concept. The New Testament Church in it's purest form is relational. Church is designed to provide a venue for me and you to experience authentic relationships. First with God the Father and then with each other. Remember, authentic relationships are sometimes messy and hurt. Church is no different. But we need them. Even though Facebook may help you track someone, it will not help you have a Godly relationship with them. Marriage and Church are two ways God provides for this need. In both cases, we are encourage to have relationship that have a physical aspect. Marriage is physical and Church is also. I am physically present. I see you and you see me. I see your expressions and your heart as you speak and you see mine. I can give you a hug and you can hug me. I can pat you on the back and you can pat me on the back. The Apostle Peter and Paul go as far as to encourage a "holy kiss." (I am good with a hug!!!) Authentic relationships have a physical aspect to them. Social networking can not provide this authenticity. Social networking may provide a lot of things, but do not be fooled into believing it will be able to substitute real relationships. So, if you want to be a real friend get of this computer, put down the phone, and drive to someones home and sit in their living room. Go to Church and be hugged by people who really care for you. Whatever you do, stop expecting 1000 people to be your real friends. Come back to the real world and engage those around you. They need it as much as you do.